Perfectionism is linked to anxiety and physical health conditions. Striving for perfection can lead to procrastination, low self-esteem, loss of motivation and impact our relationships. Knowing perfectionism is bad for our health and relationships, why do we still strive for perfection? There is no easy or perfect answer…
To begin, it is important to recognize that American culture and social media continue to play a role in the idealization of perfectionism. In general, educators measure success by accuracy more frequently than effort. Supervisors push for increased productivity rather than creativity. Teenagers still hope for acceptance by conforming to social trends rather than individuality. Even with the notion of individualism trending, conformity still remains a powerful force in our society.
Perfectionism can originate from our individual personality and genetic make-up. We may also be impacted and develop traits from early parenting. Often, we praise children for “getting it right” rather than the effort that was made. Worse, children may be ignored or even shamed for “getting in wrong”.
Perfectionists are frequently procrastinators, paralyzed to move forward without a perfect strategy or laid out plan of action. Unable to take risks or try new things, the perfectionist is not likely to achieve their full potential. Rather than seeing failed attempts as an opportunity for learning, perfectionists see failure as a time to quit or give up.
Perfectionism is associated with chronic stress and anxiety, lack of motivation and confidence, and adversely affects physical health. Perfectionists have increased risk for mental and physical health complications: a recent study revealed that perfectionists increased their risk of death by 51%.
The irony-countless research studies reveal that those who take risks and learn from mistakes are destined to learn more, retain more and perform better at all levels than the perfectionist! So, the perfectionist who is striving to be the best, with the highest standards for self, is the least likely to achieve the best results!
Willingness to tolerate failed attempts, realistic expectations and redefining our view of success
can increase our likelihood of achieving our potential.
University driven experiments conducted with student participants focused on Learning, Memory and Cognition revealed interesting conclusions about how we learn. Research concluded that learning increases if conditions are designed for students to make errors. Students were ten percent more likely to remember information, or perform higher tests if conditions for testing were arranged to be more difficult on the first exam. On the contrary, students given optimal study conditions who performed well on the first exam, scored significantly lower on the second try.
The old saying, “we learn the most from our mistakes” is not just a feel better statement.
Learning to embrace the importance of failure or making mistakes is not an easy task. Try these tasks to get started:
1) Be aware of a tendency toward perfectionism.
2) Take a personal inventory on how perfectionism has impacted your life, health or choices.
3) Understand that anything learned can be unlearned: you have the power to retrain your thought patterns.
4) Practice taking risks in areas you are probable to make a mistake.
5) Embrace the gift of imperfection: success is achieved by experiencing failure.
Learn to accept getting it wrong to get it right.
Today is a great day to accept being Perfectly Imperfect.